so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
