so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i will never coherently bang her
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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