...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
