Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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