This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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