You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
