yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize