There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
