Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
