So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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