Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
