The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
