he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
