I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Randomize
