Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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