you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
fuck your aforementioned shoe
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
