there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
