and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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