He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
