hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
