Farmville is her only friend.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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