apparently the secret to your success is patron
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
