those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
