Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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