I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
