So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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