I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
