oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
