and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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