At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
