so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
