New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
