At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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