I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
