margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
