I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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