He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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