when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
