glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
