I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
