Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
