From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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