nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
