Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize