I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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