The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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