I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
The feeling are messing with the penis
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
