I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
