i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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