we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I got inside last night via doggy door
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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