It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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