Pants 0. Shit 1.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
