So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
