ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
