It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
