Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
