so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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