i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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