Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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