yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
