I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
