Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
