dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
