I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
