Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize