somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Randomize
